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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26046982">Feeling Hopeful and Living Free</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynicsAxiom/pseuds/cynicsAxiom'>cynicsAxiom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Earth C (Homestuck), F/F, F/M, M/M, Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:46:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,358</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26046982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynicsAxiom/pseuds/cynicsAxiom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Several years after completing The Game and settling on Earth C, John and Vriska finally decide to get their shit together in this gripping tale of love, friendship, and the power of Hope.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, John Egbert/Vriska Serket, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. ---ACT 1, PART 1---</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>John and Vriska: Drive to Work</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>    HOOOOOOOONK!</p><p>     “you know that isn’t helping, right?<strong>”</strong></p><p>John’s eyebrows furrowed slightly as he sat in the passenger seat of his Honda Civic, watching his girlfriend wail away at the steering wheel car horn.</p><p>     “Well, 8t isn’t MY f8ult th8s pl8ce h8s such T8RRI8LE FUCK8NG DR8V8RS!!!!!!!!”</p><p>     John sighed as Vriska punched the horn again, this time leaning out the driver-side window and into the morning rush-hour traffic to make an obscene gesture at the Subaru Crosstrek in front of them.</p><p>     “Hey, sh8t-for-8rains!” she shouted out to it. “Quit hold8ng every8ody up!!!!!!!!”</p><p>     “vris,” John chided as she slid back into her seat, glaring at the driver of the Subaru through its rear window. “i don’t think it’s that guy’s fault that traffic’s bumper-to-bumper from here all the way to the crockercorp building.”</p><p>     “Well then,” Vriska growled. “I guess he’s just going to 8e the unlucky son-of-a-8itch I take my anger out on until we get there!”</p><p>     John put a hand up to his temple as he sighed once again. Vriska was a pretty good driver most days, although she had a slightly annoying habit of choosing the absolute worst times to turn or change lanes; she always said they’d be fine because she had “<em>allllllll the luck</em>,” but John was starting to have serious doubts about that. Anyways, on top of that, Vriska also had what was quite possibly the second-worst road-rage he had ever seen. He was beginning to understand why Dave never let Karkat drive their car.</p><p>     “i don’t know what you’re in such a rush for,” John mused, rolling the passenger-side window down and letting his arm hang out. “i mean, it’s not like we actually need this job or anything.”</p><p>     It was true. Since arriving on Earth C, none of them had really needed to work. Aside from the obvious, of course, which was that they <em>all</em> needed to work in order to find a place in this new, burgeoning society. But once that had been squared away, there really wasn’t much else for them to do. They were gods, and they could basically live off of just that until... whenever, John supposed.</p><p>     “It isn’t a8out that,” Vriska turned to face him. “I seriously could not care any less a8out Jane’s dum8 company. It’s just this stupid inaction 8ullshit I can’t stand!”</p><p>     John lifted his arm slightly as a faint breeze blew across the freeway, sending a cool stream of air up his arm and into the compact car, rustling his black button-down, which had light blue crossing stripes. He let his arm twist in the wind for a minute, and he thought about how he had felt his retcon powers slowly fade away over the course of the last few years. Ever since they had arrived on Earth C, he could sense that they were draining out of him. He had figured that it was just because he no longer needed them, what with Lord English having been killed by that falling piano all those years ago. And it’s not like he was complaining. Things had been going pretty well between him and Vriska over the past year or so. He had just convinced Vriska to move in with him, although she insisted on maintaining ownership of her home in the Troll Kingdom, which basically looked like a giant pirate ship. He hadn’t really argued with her on the matter, since he kinda liked the pirate ship house, too. His house was just a little more… furnished. And had, like, toilets and stuff.</p><p>     John was shaken from his reverie by a loud groan from Vriska before she slammed her head into the car horn.</p><p>     HOOOOOOOONK!</p><p>     “8a8e,” John winced.</p><p>     “Don’t ‘8a8e’ me, Eg8ert,” she muttered, lifting her head to stare once again into the seemingly infinite line of commuter cars. “Or I might kill you instead of this DOUCHE8AG in the Crosstrek!!!!!!!!”</p><p>     The two of them sat in silence for a moment, John staring out the window and Vriska zeroing her angry gaze in on the rearview mirror of the offending Crosstrek, despite the fact that she couldn’t make out who the driver of the grey hunk of metal was.</p><p>     “so...” John looked around idly as cars up and down the immobile string beeped and honked at one another at this standstill. “maybe i don’t really get your powers, but couldn’t you, like... take everybody’s luck or something? so we’d just be able to make a clean shot to the crocker building?”</p><p>     “It isn’t really that simple, John,” she said venomously as she slowly turned her head to show him just how stupid she thought he was. “If that’s all it would take, don’t you think I would have done it already?”</p><p>     John shrugged.</p><p>     “i don’t know. it just sorta occurred to me, so i thought i’d ask.”</p><p>     “Well, that’s a pretty dum8 question, even for you, Eg8ert,” Vriska sneered. It seemed she was feeling at least a little playful. “8esides, you have powers too, don’t you? Why can’t you just summon a torn8o or something to carry us there?”</p><p>     John considered this for a moment, then turned to Vriska with a pensive glance.</p><p>     “W8,” Vriska said, her smirk only half disappearing as she tried to read John’s expression. “Are you seriously considering that proposal?”</p><p>     “i think,” John began, a mischievous twinkle glimmering in his eye. “i could probably make that work.”</p><p>     “W8, SERIOUSLY???????? 8ecause that would probably make you the coolest fucking person on this 8oring planet. Or at least this dum8 freeway.”</p><p>     “well, i guess we’ll just have to try it out, won’t we?”</p><p>     “If it gets us out of this traffic? Go for it! Even if you crashed the car, it’s not like we would actually die or anything.”</p><p>     “well, when you put it that way,” John smirked as he climbed partially out of the Civic’s sunroof to begin stirring up a Windy Thing. “how could i resist?”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>     John’s blue Honda Civic flew over the cars jammed on the Gamzee Makara Memorial Freeway on a bed of gusting air. The freeway, which was notoriously crowded, even on good days, had been one of Crockercorp’s most ambitious public works, and was the longest continuous road on Earth C. It was also incredibly complex in design, often snaking and looping around, over, and under itself. From this high up, John could almost see it looking like two giant snakes locked in a mating dance. Or maybe just fighting. It’s kind of hard to tell with snakes.</p><p>     Zipping through the skies, John soon saw the spires of Crockercorp’s many towers, which made up the majority of the city. Jane’s company had done well for itself, expanding at an almost alarming rate. Crockercorp had become so expansive in recent years that Jane had had to erect a new tower for pretty much each of the corporate entity’s major divisions, from Food, to Electronics, to Home Goods and Furniture. The irony was not lost on John that he would soon be starting a job working for the company that had been his first real enemy, when he was but a young prankster. It was almost as bad as having to actually work for Betty Crocker herself.</p><p>     “Oh, hey, there it is!” Vriska called up to him, pointing at the rising metropolis in the distance. “Which one is Jane’s 8uilding?”</p><p>     “um, all of them, i think,” John called back to her through the sunroof.</p><p>     “Yeesh,” she shook her head. “I think your mom might 8e a little repressed, John.”</p><p>     “i don’t think i would’ve minded if you hadn’t just said that,” John sighed. “besides, i’m sure jane loves hearing shit like that from prospective employees.”</p><p>     “You know,” Vriska began, rolling down the driver-side window and sticking her head out to look up at John. “The closer we get to this place, the more I’m starting to think this might 8e a 8ad idea.”</p><p>     “well, i’m not crazy about it either, if it makes you feel any 8etter. but seriously, vris, how many times can we really fly around the world laughing at alt-dave’s shitty liberties?”</p><p>     “Yeah, that does kinda wear itself out after a while........”</p><p>     “besides,” John chuckled. “i’ve got a good feeling about this job. it’s something new, something different, something to... i dunno, get us out of the house? i mean, how bad could it possibly be, you know?”</p><p>     “I guess........” Vriska muttered, turning away from John to look at the winding road below. “Still, Crockercorp is pretty shady, and Jane isn’t exactly a hit 8ack in the kingdom. I mean, does she even know about us?”</p><p>     John gulped a little as Vriska turned back to face him, the question seeming to shoot like a laser from her eyes and burn into him.</p><p>     “well...”</p><p>     “Exactly,” she said, sliding through the window and back into her seat. “You’d pro8a8ly 8e fine, 8ut I dou8t I’d even make it through a full day.”</p><p>     “oh, come on,” John clucked. “you’ll be fine. and besides, if you got fired, i’d leave too. i’ve got your back on this, one-hundred percent.”</p><p>     “Well........ thanks.”</p><p>     “no worries,” John beamed at her. “look at that! we’re almost there!”</p><p>     “Great........” Vriska rolled her eyes.</p><p>     “look, it’s just for one day. if we don’t like it, we don’t like it, and we can spend the rest of our eternities sitting on my couch watching Con Air.”</p><p>     “Yessssssss,” Vriska giggled. “I could really get down to some Nicolas Cage right now.”</p><p>     “believe me, you are preaching to the choir. no one loves the cage as much as i do.”</p><p>     “Well, why can’t we just turn around, then?”</p><p>     “i dunno, i just feel like we should at least try it out? especially since jane invited us and all...”</p><p>     Vriska groaned.</p><p>     “8ut I don’t wanna do dum8 shit for her dum8 company!!!!!!!!”</p><p>     “aw, c’mon, it’ll be fun. 8esides,” he smirked. “you know a typical work day is 8 hours, right?”</p><p>     “Are you making fun of me, John Eg8ert?” Vriska shouted up at him, a slight grin on her face. “8ecause I <em>will</em> climb up there and punch you in that dum8 face of yours.”</p><p>     “oh, yeah?” he taunted. “come get some.”</p><p>     Vriska’s grin turned into a sneer as she climbed up through the sun roof to sit next to John on top of his blue Honda Civic. She grabbed him by the collar, then pulled him in for a kiss as they sailed through the air, the fresh calm of the morning breeze leaving them oblivious to the foreboding aura around the fast-approaching Crockercorp towers.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>     John landed the Civic on the top floor of the parking garage next to Crockercorp’s Main Tower. Vriska was starting the car once again as he slid back through the sunroof and into his seat. The upper level of the parking garage was empty, though that was bound to change whenever traffic cleared up on the Makara.</p><p>     “we should probably drive down and see if we can’t get a spot on one of the lower floors, before all the other commuters come and this place gets impossible to navigate.”</p><p>     “Way ahead of you,” Vriska snickered as she put the car in “Drive.”</p><p>     John held onto the edges of his seat as Vriska whipped around the corners and down the ramps of the parking garage, occasionally only missing the guard rails or concrete pillars by what John perceived to be fractions of an inch.</p><p>     “yikes, vris, who taught you to drive? vin diesel?”</p><p>     “Calm down, Eg8ert,” Vriska waved dismissively. “I’m 8asically a pro. 8esides, last time I checked, there wasn’t anything particularly Heroic or Just a8out crashing your car in a corporate parking lot.”</p><p>     “that doesn’t mean i want to experience it!” John groaned.</p><p>     John decided to take his eyes off of the blur of the parking garage for a moment, and turned his gaze over to Vriska instead. As terrifying as it was to be in a car with her, there was something about the way she firmly held the wheel in her grip, coupled with her determined eyes and infectiously manic smile that made John forget for a split-second that he was just about as likely to fly through the windshield of his car as he was to make it through this ordeal unharmed. She simply exuded a natural confidence, which was even more prominent today as she tore through the Crockercorp parking garage in her navy-blue-with-black-stripes power suit. She was just so magnetic, so exciting, so—</p><p>     John lurched forward suddenly, almost slamming his head into the dashboard as his blue Honda Civic screeched to halt on the bottom floor of the parking garage. Like the upper floor, it was practically empty, as all of the other early-arrivals had taken spaces in the main parking lot. However, there was one other car in the garage with them, and it was parked in the middle of the lane. It was a grey Subaru Crosstrek. And leaning against the hood was a familiar-looking young man in black-and-white formal attire, with a pair of round sunglasses perched above a knowing smirk.</p><p>     John caught his breath as Vriska rolled down the window and stuck her head out.</p><p>     “D8VE????????”</p><p>     “’sup?”</p><p>     “What the hell are <em>you</em> doing here?”</p><p>     Dave shrugged nonchalantly.</p><p>     “we saw y’all’s car fly up and head straight over here,” he said. “we thought we might try to intercept you or something.”</p><p>     “W8 a minute...” Vriska squinted at the Crosstrek before her eyes snapped wide open with a realization. “That was <em>Y8UR</em> car I was screaming at on the freeway?”</p><p>     “yep,” Dave chuckled. “you nearly gave karkat an aneurysm, too, with all that honking and shit.”</p><p>     “I was completely justified, then,” Vriska snickered. “Where is that cra88y 8astard, anyway?”</p><p>     As if on command, Karkat stuck his head out of the passenger-side window of the Crosstrek.</p><p>     “I’M RIGHT FUCKING HERE, YOU PSYCHOTIC BITCH!” he yelled, his voice ricocheting wildly off the concrete walls in the empty parking garage.</p><p>     Vriska cackled wickedly before shifting the car into “Reverse.”</p><p>     “Alright, just let me park this thing and we’ll 8e right out.”</p><p>     Dave nodded and got back in the Crosstrek, moving to park it as well. Vriska backed into a spot near the entrance to the garage, and Dave parked his Subaru right across the aisle from them. As soon as they were parked, all four of them got out of their respective cars and met in the center of the lane.</p><p>     “dave!” John marveled. “how the hell have you been?”</p><p>     “can’t complain,” he shrugged. “i mean, i can, i just don’t see any particular reason to do it in this parking garage.”</p><p>     “well, it’s great seeing you!”</p><p>     Karkat cleared his throat rather conspicuously.</p><p>     “...and it’s great seeing you, too, karkat.”</p><p>     “YOU KNOW WHAT? NO. YOU’VE ALREADY FUCKING RUINED IT.”</p><p>     “uh... okay?”</p><p>     “don’t mind him,” Dave said, nodding slightly in Karkat’s direction. “he’s just mad i wouldn’t let him drive the car.”</p><p>     “HEY!”</p><p>     “speaking of which...” John glance around Dave to get a look at his grey Crosstrek. “since when do you drive a subaru?”</p><p>     “since karkat crashed the bentley and we had to get a rental.”</p><p>     “I DIDN’T CRASH THE FUCKING BENTLEY!” Karkat insisted. “SOME FUCKING TOOL T-BONED ME!”</p><p>     “i let you drive the bentley,” Dave said, slowly turning to face Karkat and raising his index finger. “once.”</p><p>     “As much as I love whatever drama is unfolding right now,” Vriska began before Karkat could respond. “And, 8elive me, I do; Dave, what exactly are you two doing here?”</p><p>     “ain’t it obvious?” he said, turning back to Vriska. “i’m delivering some piping-hot PLOT up in this bitch.”</p><p>     “Excuse me?”</p><p>     “you heard.”</p><p>     “what plot?” John asked, giving Dave a quizzical glance.</p><p>     “oh, y’all don’t know about the plot? shit, man, my bad.”</p><p>     “Is this another one of your stupid ‘irony’ things?”</p><p>     “sorry, vris,” Dave said, making a zipping motion over his mouth. “trade secret.”</p><p>     “what is going on right now?”</p><p>     “don’t you worry your pretty little head over it, dude. sometimes, it’s better not to know.”</p><p>     “And is this one of those times?” Vriska cocked an eyebrow. “8ecause I’m getting a little tired of standing here and not doing anything.”</p><p>     “incidentally,” Dave smirked. “it’s not. karkat and i have some mad serious business with Queen Crocker, and it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to have the two of you with us when we meet her.”</p><p>     “8usiness?” Vriska asked incredulously. “What sort of 8usiness?”</p><p>     “you probably wouldn’t get it. it’s about,” Dave adjusted his glasses. “the Economy.”</p><p>     “DAVE’S BEEN DOING A LOT OF NUMBER CRUNCHING, APPARENTLY.”</p><p>     “yep. and according to my calculations, shit is gonna go down.”</p><p>     “really?”</p><p>     “really really.”</p><p>     “What exactly constitutes ‘shit’ in this scenario?”</p><p>     “the world government doesn’t really give too much money to the troll kingdom,” Dave shrugged. “so we came to solicit john’s mom for some charitable donations.”</p><p>     “okay, can everyone stop calling her my mom? it’s really weird.”</p><p>     “would you prefer we called her ‘nanna?’”</p><p>     “somehow, that’s even worse.”</p><p>     “LOOK, THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT JANE DOESN’T LIKE US, AND WE KNOW SHE DOESN’T LIKE US, BUT WE NEED TO ASK HER FOR MONEY ANYWAY, OR THE WHOLE KINGDOM’S INFRASTRUCTURE WILL START FALLING APART.”</p><p>     “and that’s where you come in.”</p><p>     “i don’t really see what we’re supposed to do about it...”</p><p>     “well, you’re pretty well-respected around these parts,” Dave explained with his air of casual sophistication. “your presence alone might give us the weight we need to get into jane’s office. otherwise, she’ll probably just keep ignoring us.”</p><p>     “Well, we’re supposed to 8e starting work in a little 8it...” Vriska mused. “8ut, what the hell. We’ll go talk to Jane with you.”</p><p>     “we will?”</p><p>     “Yeah, why not?” she shrugged. “What, you’d rather be crunching num8ers or whatever?”</p><p>     “well, not really...”</p><p>     “great. it’s settled, then.”</p><p>     Dave turned abruptly and began strolling out of the parking garage, with Karkat close behind. John looked back and forth from Dave’s receding figure, to Vriska, back to Dave, then back to Vriska once again. She had a devious smile on her face which made her already prominent fangs all the more noticeable.</p><p>     “what the hell, vris?” he asked, confounded. “i was trying to get you out of having to meet with jane face-to-face.”</p><p>     “And I was trying to make <em>something</em> just happen already,” she giggled. “Though I have to admit, watching you squirm a little 8it was kind of a 8onus.”</p><p>     Vriska winked at John as she brushed past him to follow Dave outside, leaving John standing alone in front of his blue Honda Civic, dumbfounded.</p><p>     “hey, egbert,” Dave called back to him. “you coming, or what?”</p><p>     John sighed before jogging over to catch up with his friends.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ---ACT 1, PART 2---</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>John and Vriska: Do Some Plot Shit</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>       John, Vriska, Dave, and Karkat crossed through the threshold of the Crockercorp building and were immediately struck by the abrupt change in atmosphere. The automatic doors slithered open and admitted the troupe into a practically dazzling lobby. It was spacious, with a cavernous ceiling and a long walk from the door to the reception desk, and the elevators beyond. In accordance with Crockercorp’s signature color scheme, the entire room was painted an immaculate white, with bold red accents scattered here and there among the paneling. Red light boxes hung suspended from the ceiling, illuminating the room with harsh, sterile light. It was all a far cry from the relatively unceremonious parking garage and equally unremarkable lot, which had already been mostly filled as John and the gang made their way from their cars to the base of Crockercorp’s Main Tower.</p><p>     “FOR FUCK’S SAKE...” Karkat grumbled, pulling out a pair of sunglasses to shield his eyes from the stark lighting. “THIS SHIT’S WORSE THAN ACTUAL FUCKING SUNLIGHT.”</p><p>     “For real,” Vriska agreed, using her hand as a visor while she glanced up at the glaring light boxes. “You’d think she was trying to 8urn our eyes out or something.”</p><p>     “yeah, i’d say it’s a little bright in here.”</p><p>     “guys, focus,” Dave said, surveying the lobby, which was relatively empty given how massive it was. “we need to figure out how to get to jane’s office.”</p><p>     “we could just ask the receptionist for directions?” John suggested.</p><p>     “what are you, crazy?” Dave snapped his head toward John. “this is some real covert shit we’ve got going on here.”</p><p>     “You call walking in through the front door ‘covert?’”</p><p>     “look, vriska,” Dave turned to her. “you ever seen any of those dumb movies john’s always going on about? it’s like those. like, that’s the number-one fucking rule of corporate espionage.”</p><p>     “corporate espionage?” John asked, bewildered. “dave, what the hell are you talking about?”</p><p>     Dave put his hands on John’s shoulders and stared at him so steadily and directly it made John just the tiniest bit uncomfortable.</p><p>     “the number-one rule, john,” he repeated. “you can’t trust the receptionist.”</p><p>     “what do you mean?”</p><p>     “if we go up and talk to the receptionist,” Dave explained. “then she’ll know who we’re going to see. and if she knows who we’re going to see, then she’ll probably notify them that we’re coming. following so far?”</p><p>     John nodded tentatively.</p><p>     “if jane knows we’re here, she’s probably going to assume one of two things. one, we’re here to prostrate before her and thank her for being the raddest corporate overlord a couple of schlubs like us could ask for. or, two, that we’re here to ask her to actually do something to HELP some people with horns.”</p><p>     “now, i don’t know jane all that well, but she seems like a pretty smart gal. and i would imagine that she isn’t exactly going to be naïve enough to expect outcome number one. which means...”</p><p>     “SHE LOCKS HER DOOR AND REFUSES TO FUCKING TALK TO US,” Karkat chimed in, finishing Dave’s sentence.</p><p>     “exactly.”</p><p>     “i don’t know, dave,” John said, brushing Dave’s hands off his shoulders. “i think you might be the crazy one.”</p><p>     “No, that actually made perfect sense to me.”</p><p>     “see?” Dave said, pointing at Vriska. “spider girl gets it.”</p><p>     “all the same,” John shot a look at Vriska. “that’s just movie logic. Receptionists aren’t ACTUALLY evil or anything.”</p><p>     “maybe not,” Dave shrugged. “but when you’re trying to wring money out of your best friend’s mom-slash-mega rich bitch, you gotta be mad protective of your element of surprise.”</p><p>     “for the last time, PLEASE stop calling her my mom!”</p><p>     “Is everything alright over here?” came a concerned, yet still chipper, female voice.</p><p>     All four of them were startled as they noticed the receptionist standing behind Dave.</p><p>     “oh, uh, hey,” John laughed nervously. “who are you?”</p><p>     “I’m the one working the desk?” she arched an eyebrow as she pointed her thumb back toward the reception desk. “I noticed there was a bit of a commotion over here and though I’d come over and see if I could sort things out?”</p><p>     “that’s very kind of you, but i assure you,” Dave adjusted his sunglasses slightly. “there’s no commotion.”</p><p>     “Really? Because I’m pretty sure I heard your strange child here shout something about—”</p><p>     “WHAT DID YOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME?!”</p><p>     “whoops, looks like you struck a nerve,” Dave turned the receptionist around and tried to shuffle her back toward the desk. “you should probably just let us take care of this.”</p><p>     “I’m sorry sir,” she whipped around to face Dave, fixing him with a stern glare. “But it’s against company policy to loiter in the entrance hall. I’m going to have to ask you to either show me your ID or leave.”</p><p>     “my id?” Dave paused for a moment. “what id?”</p><p>     “excuse my friend here,” John stepped in. “he’s new. actually, we all are. so we haven’t had our id pictures taken yet.”</p><p>     “I see,” the receptionist said, keeping a skeptical eye on Dave. “In that case, you’ll need to head to the identification office on the twenty-fifth floor.”</p><p>     “thank you,” John nodded. “does it matter which elevator we take?”</p><p>     “The one on the left services the lower half of the building,” the receptionist recited. “The one on the right, the upper half.”</p><p>     “great, thanks,” John pushed Dave past her, motioning quickly for Vriska and Karkat to follow.</p><p>     The four of them hurried past the reception desk and toward the twin elevators at the back end of the Crockercorp lobby.</p><p>     “Nice work, John,” Vriska murmured in his ear. “Looks like you’ve got some fast-talking skills after all.”</p><p>     “don’t congratulate me yet,” John muttered back. “we’ve still gotta make it up to jane.”</p><p>     The group scrambled into the far-right elevator while the receptionist watched on, shaking her head. She sighed and strode over to her desk, where she picked up the little red phone and dialed the extension number for the thousandth floor.</p><p>     “Hello?” she asked when she heard the line open on the other end. “Sorry to bother you, ma’am. But I believe you’ve got company.”</p><p>***</p><p>--gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]—</p><p> </p><p>GC: H3Y, VR1SK4, YOU TH3R3?</p><p>AG: Yeah, what’s up?</p><p>GC: 4R3 YOU, L1K3, BUSY R1GHT NOW?</p><p>AG: I guess, kinda. We’re in an elevator.</p><p>GC: YOU’R3 1N 4N 3L3V4TOR?</p><p>AG: John says hi, 8tw :::;)</p><p>GC: 4ND JOHN 1S TH3R3???</p><p>GC: OH, W41T, TH4T’S R1GHT. YOU BOTH 4R3 ST4RT1NG WORK TOD4Y, 4R3N’T YOU?</p><p>AG: Well, that was the idea.</p><p>AG: Until we ran into Strider and Vantas in the parking lot.</p><p>GC: WH4T?! D4V3 4ND K4RK4T 4R3 TH3R3, TOO?!</p><p>AG: Yeah, they kinda derailed our whole “going to work” thing so we could help them pressure Jane into... giving money to the Troll Kingdom, I guess?</p><p>AG: I’m not sure how well-thought-out this plan of theirs actually is.</p><p>GC: H3H H3H. 1’M SUR3 1T’S BR1LL14NT 1F 1T’S TH3 BR41NCH1LD OF D4V3 STR1D3R 4ND K4RK4T V4NT4S. TH3Y’R3 PROB4BLY TH3 TWO GR34T3ST STR4T3G1C M1NDS 1N TH3 MULT1V3RS3! &gt;:]</p><p>AG: I’m gonna tell them you said that heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee</p><p>GC: H4H4H4, Y3S!</p><p>AG: Karkat just flipped me off lmaoooooooo</p><p>GC: H3H3H3H, N1C3.</p><p>AG: So, w8, what were you gonna message me a8out?</p><p>GC: OH, UH, 1T’S NOTH1NG, R34LLY.</p><p>AG: ........ Really?</p><p>GC: W3LL, NOTH1NG TH4T C4N’T W41T UNT1L L4T3R.</p><p>GC: B3S1D3S, 1 WOULDN’T W4NT TO 1NT3RRUPT YOUR T1M3 W1TH JOOOOOOOOHN &gt;;]</p><p>AG: Oh, come on, Pyrope! You can’t just leave me hanging like that!</p><p>GC: OH, 1 4BSOLUT3LY C4N, 4ND 1 MOST C3RT41NLY W1LL &gt;:]</p><p>AG: Aaaaaaaargh!</p><p>AG: You have got to 8e the most frustr8ting Moirail ever!</p><p>AG: Even after I went through all the trou8le of 8ullying Vantas for you ::::(</p><p>GC: OH, PL34S3, YOU WOULD H4V3 BULL13D H1M 4NYW4Y!</p><p>AG: Mayyyyyyyy8e........ :::;)</p><p>AG: 8ut does that devalue it at all?</p><p>GC: VR1SK4, 1’M NOT GO1NG TO T3LL YOU TH3 TH1NG UNT1L L4T3R!</p><p>GC: YOU’LL N33D YOUR W1TS A8OUT YOU IF YOU’R3 PL4NN1NG TO CONFRONT J4N3.</p><p>GC: *1F</p><p>AG: What, you don’t have faith in the Greatest Strategic Minds in the Multiverse?</p><p>GC: OH, 1 DO.</p><p>GC: JUST NOT 1N K4RK4T 4ND D4V3. &gt;;]</p><p> </p><p>--gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]—</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>     Vriska was the first one to step off the elevator when the doors finally slid open. The others soon followed her into a pristine, white upper-lobby area. From the far wall, a massive oil painting of Jane wearing business attire and sitting on the arm of a plush chair stared them down. The painting hung above a small coffee table, which was flanked by blood-red armchairs and a pair of innocuous ferns. To their left, a pair of glass doors gave way to what appeared to be a small office space. A brass panel under the painting read “1000.”</p><p>     “Well,” Vriska stated, casting an appraising glance over the painting. “I guess we’re here.”</p><p>     “JESUS FUCK,” Karkat lowered his shades slightly to get a better look at the portrait. “IF CROCKER’S EGO WAS ANY BIGGER, THEY’D NEED TO ADD ANOTHER FUCKING FLOOR.”</p><p>     “i don’t know, john,” Dave mused. “but i think your mom might be hot.”</p><p>     “WHAT?!” John and Karkat shouted in unison.</p><p>     Dave shrugged.</p><p>     “i just call ‘em like i see ‘em.”</p><p>     “YOU’RE FUCKING KIDDING ME, RIGHT?” Karkat fumed. “NO OFFENSE, JOHN.”</p><p>     “what the hell?”</p><p>     “of course i’m kidding,” Dave said, absolutely not looking like he was kidding. “what kind of a huge tool do you think i am?”</p><p>     “Uh, hey, can we may8e hurry this up?” Vriska said, looking through the glass door. “Jane’s underlings are starting to give us funny looks.”</p><p>     “alright, then. does everyone remember the game plan?”</p><p>     “i get us into the office, you handle all the talking from there?”</p><p>     “exactly.”</p><p>     “alright, then,” John sighed. “let’s get this show on the road.”</p><p>     The four of them stepped through the glass doors and into the outer area of Jane’s office. There were several rows of desks, each manned by a Human secretary. They all looked up as the group entered the office space.</p><p>     From the glass doors, it was a straight shot to Jane’s office proper. As casually as possible, John and the rest sauntered down the short walk toward the imposing mahogany door into Jane’s room. Before they could reach the door, however, one of the secretaries, a young man, approached them and blocked their path.</p><p>     “Excuse me,” he said. “But Ms. Crocker isn’t receiving visitations at the moment.”</p><p>     “oh, uh, really?” John asked, nervously. “what, is she, like, busy, or something?”</p><p>     “Yes,” the secretary said flatly. “Now please leave.”</p><p>     “well, alright, but, uh,” John’s mind was racing. “could you tell her that john egbert was here to see her?”</p><p>     The secretary’s expression seemed to change slightly.</p><p>     “John Egbert?” he said, seemingly in disbelief. “You mean, <em>the</em> John Egbert?”</p><p>     “that would be me,” John chuckled as beads of sweat formed on his brow.</p><p>     “So, wait... that must mean that the rest of you are—“</p><p>     “his entourage,” Dave interrupted. “we’re his entourage.”</p><p>     “Oh, right,” The secretary beamed with visible excitement. “I’ll phone you in right away.”</p><p>     As the secretary hurried back to his desk to call into the office, John turned around to give a Dave a bewildered look.</p><p>     <em>what the hell just happened?</em> He mouthed.</p><p>     John couldn’t see his eyes, but he was certain Dave was winking at him from behind those damned sunglasses.</p><p>     “Ms. Crocker will see you now,” the secretary grinned up at them. The other secretaries in the room quietly went back to their work.</p><p>     John wiped his forehead, breathed a quick sigh of relief, and led his compatriots onward, into the lair of the beast.</p><p>     “John!” Jane cried as he poked his head beyond the wooden door. “Come in, come in!”</p><p>     Jane was not an attractive woman in the traditional sense. She was rather plain, and her body was not particularly distinct in any way. However, she had an air about her that was both imperious and overpowering. She had a manner of being which seemed to demand respect or, at the very least, a healthy fear of disappointing her. It was still a little strange for John to think about how this same woman who now stood behind an imposing oak desk in her red and white suit ensemble had, in another life, been his Nanna. Back then, he had only really known her through his Dad, and later when she had been programmed into his kernelsprite. He had always thought she would have been kind and homey when she was young. But Jane could not have been further from that ideal.</p><p>     “hi, mo— uh, i mean, jane,” John smiled awkwardly. “i hope we’re not interrupting you or anything.”</p><p>     “Oh, not at all!” she smiled politely, sitting back down in her large, cushioned desk chair. “I was just sorting out some of this morning’s paperwork.”</p><p>     As she said this, she began gathering up the stray papers around her desk and placed them, as a pile, safely within a lower-left drawer.  </p><p>John slid into the office, careful not to close the door, but careful not to open it too wide, either.</p><p>     “What’s the matter, John?” she glanced up at him. “Why don’t you have a seat?”</p><p>     “well, actually, there’s, uh... some other people here that want to chat with you too.”</p><p>     “Well, why don’t you bring them in?”</p><p>     John nodded and slowly let the door swing open. Vriska came through first, garnering a confused look from Jane. Then, Dave and Karkat entered, and Jane’s pensive frown turned into an agitated grimace.</p><p>     “Ah,” she said, her voice dangerously calm. “I see.”</p><p>     Jane stood from her seat and motioned for Karkat to close the door. He did so, watching Jane warily. Jane crossed her arms and huffed as she surveyed the assembled group before her.</p><p>     “Well, I suppose there’s not much point in having you thrown out now. You’ve made it this far. Mister Strider, Mister Vantas, and... Miss Serket, I suppose? What is it exactly that you’ve come to beg for this time?”</p><p>     “Actually,” Vriska raised a corrective finger. “I’m just here 8ecause it’s my first day on the jo8.”</p><p>     “I’m sorry, what?” Jane asked, seemingly bewildered.</p><p>     “you offered me and my girlfriend a job, remember?” John offered sheepishly. “well, this is my girlfriend.”</p><p>     “Uh-huh...” Jane muttered, her mouth slightly open and her jaw tight. “Well, that’s just... wonderful.”</p><p>     “look, jane, we don’t want to waste your time.”</p><p>     “Oh, I highly doubt that,” she snapped at Dave. “And it’s Miss Crocker to you.”</p><p>     “miss crocker,” Dave bowed his head slightly. “there are people who need your help.”</p><p>     “I’m sure,” she sneered. “Haven’t I been helpful enough?”</p><p>     “THERE ARE FU—REAKING LIVE AT STAKE, JANE!”</p><p>     “karkat, please...”</p><p>     “Are there?” Jane smiled haughtily. “Well, I just don’t see how it’s <em>my</em> fault that <em>your</em> kind can’t get their act together. I mean, the Human Kingdom isn’t in any danger of falling apart, is it?”</p><p>     “AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY THAT IS!!!”</p><p>     “KARKAT.”</p><p>     Jane chuckled softly, sinisterly.</p><p>     “John, I think you and Miss Serket should be on your way to your work stations. One of my secretaries will escort you.”</p><p>     John looked to Dave and Karkat. Dave glanced back and nodded.</p><p>     “don’t worry about us, we can handle it.”</p><p>     “Yes, of course, we’re all civilized adults. We can have a <em>reasonable </em>conversation. For some, it’s a bit more of a strain than others, but that’s neither here nor there.”</p><p>     Karkat seemed on the verge of screaming some obscenity as Dave planted a hand firmly on his shoulder, which seemed to calm him down just enough to let him bite his tongue. Jane’s demeanor had taken on an aura of mockery, and John was still nervous for his friends. However, he knew there wasn’t much else he could do but let this situation play out.</p><p>     John took Vriska’s hand and the two of them stepped out of Jane’s office, leaving Dave and Karkat alone with her. The same secretary as before hurried up to them excitedly.</p><p>     “I’ll be taking you downstairs now,” he grinned. “Follow me.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. ---ACT 1, PART 3---</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>John and Vriska: Get the Hell Out of There</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     “Ugh, yes,” Vriska groaned as she and John left the Crockercorp building at the end of the day. “I’m so glad to finally get the hell out of there!”</p>
<p>     John sighed and nodded in agreement as they made their way across the parking lot toward where they had left the Civic. To say that it had been a rough day at the office was a bit of an understatement. Jane had gotten them both spots in one of her marketing offices, and, needless to say, Vriska’s vision for persuasive advertising did not exactly line up with the Crockercorp brand. Even John felt like the corporate atmosphere was just too oppressive to really enjoy himself.</p>
<p>     “well, at least we made it through the day,” he offered.</p>
<p>     “And aren’t we lucky for that?” Vriska rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>     The two of them walked into the parking garage, Vriska’s heels giving her gait a heightened intensity, the <em>click, click, click</em> of their striking the concrete floors accentuating her dissatisfaction.</p>
<p>     As they neared the car, John looked over to his right. Dave’s Crosstrek was already gone.</p>
<p>     <em>well, at least they made it out alright,</em> he thought to himself. He seriously doubted that Jane would have made any concessions to Dave and Karkat, and was more likely to have just run them around in circles before having security escort them out of the building. But, who knows? Maybe Dave had actually been able to get through to her.</p>
<p>     John moved toward the passenger side of the Civic when he felt something small and hard hit his arm. He jumped, and turned to see what is was as it clattered to the floor of the garage. Vriska brushed past him and opened the passenger side door of the car.</p>
<p>     “You’re driving,” she grumbled, before getting in and slamming the door behind her.</p>
<p>     <em>well, that’s not good,</em> John thought to himself as he bent over to pick up the keys.</p>
<p>     He walked around to the other side of his azure sedan and slipped into the driver’s seat. With Vriska still simmering next to him, he started the car and guided it out of the parking garage in silence.</p>
<p>     Other Crockercorp employees had begun filing out of the building as well, and John had to drive slowly as the crowded parking lot became even more difficult to navigate. Luckily, he managed to get their car back onto the freeway without hitting any pedestrians en route.</p>
<p>     Vriska was staring out the passenger window, her arms crossed angrily over her chest. The late-afternoon light was streaming down from the distant sun, casting a soft glow over the young woman who was currently slumped down in her seat, her brows furrowed and her lips pursed in a child-like pout. Seeing this, it was all John could do not to smile. He glanced over at this person sitting next to him, and marveled at how such a larger-than-life presence could be contained in such a body. She seemed at times to be a Sun all her own, radiating personality. Even when she was angry, she had an exuberance and vivacity that shone through her tough exterior.</p>
<p>     <em>geez, egbert,</em> he thought, shaking himself out of his reverie and bringing his focus back to the road. <em>you’re starting to become a real sap in your old age.</em></p>
<p>     That was only partly true. John had pretty much always been a sap. He had just been reading a lot of Hemingway lately.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     A little while later, John and Vriska made it back to their house, which was tucked away in a relatively isolated suburb. The house had initially stood alone and in the middle of nowhere, and John had liked the privacy. But, when the developers came and proposed building a small neighborhood, John eventually agreed, as it sort of, in a weird way, reminded him of home. Still, John’s house was fairly separate from the rest of his neighbors, sitting alone at the far end of an extra-long, extra-private cul-de-sac.</p>
<p>     The Sun was hanging much lower on the horizon now, though it wasn’t quite set yet. The last rays of sunset bathed the house in fiery orange light on one side, stark, black shadows consuming the other. Seeing his house under the lilac sky made John a little tired, and he sighed getting out of the car. Vriska still hadn’t said a word since the parking garage, but John didn’t have the energy to worry too much about it. So the two of them silently walked up the driveway and into the house.</p>
<p>     Crossing the threshold into the living room, John quickly loosened his tie, pulling it off and undoing the top two buttons of his shirt. He draped the tie around his neck and walked over to the couch before flopping down with a huff. A slight grin crept onto his face as he began to relax, and he looked up to see Vriska still standing in the doorway, her back leaning against the front door. She had her arms still crossed, and her gaze seemed to be aimed at something far in the distance.</p>
<p>     John became serious again as he leaned forward on the couch.</p>
<p>     “vris, you alright?”</p>
<p>     “8f course 8 am!” she snapped suddenly. “Why the h8ll w8uldn’t 8 8e?”</p>
<p>     “whoa, vriska, maybe you should, er...”</p>
<p>     “May8e I sh8uld wh8t, John? 8ecause you had 8etter not 8e a8out to tell me to c8lm d8wn!!!!!!!!”</p>
<p>     “no, no, not at all,” John said as he rose from the couch. “i was just gonna say that maybe you should talk about it instead of bottling it up.”</p>
<p>     Vriska cocked her head slightly at him. She stared at John for a moment, her left eye twitching as she searched his face for any sign that he was being disingenuous.</p>
<p>     “There’s nothing to talk a8out,” she said finally. “I’m fine.”</p>
<p>     Vriska turned away from him, but not before John saw small pools of cobalt blue building up in the corners of her eyes. She ascended the staircase in the living room up to the second floor, the clicking of her heels punctuating each step as she climbed. Once she reached the top, she disappeared down the hallway that led to the bathroom.</p>
<p>     John took a deep breath and flopped back down on the couch. He wanted to go up after her, but he knew that trying to talk to her before she was ready would just make things worse. With Vriska, you had to wait for her to come to you. John took off his glasses for a moment and massaged the bridge of his nose with his free hand. He got up and pushed through the saloon doors that led to the kitchen.</p>
<p>    </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     Vriska sat on the edge of the bathtub, her hands clenched tight into fists. She had screwed her eyes shut to keep from crying and she was doing her utmost to choke down any sobs that attempted to force their way up her throat. Even though there wasn’t anyone around to save face in front of, Vriska persisted in trying to will herself not to cry. She knew she’d have to see John again sooner or later, and she didn’t want to look weak in front of him.</p>
<p>     She sucked in a shaky breath and held it as she opened her eyes ever-so-slightly. She blinked a few times to clear away the blue fog, but was relieved to find her eyes no more than a little dewy. She sighed and stood up, crossing the small room to the sink. Looking at her reflection in the small bathroom mirror, she grimaced. Her makeup had begun running, and was smudged to hell where she had tried to dry her eyes with the back of her hand. She looked down and made a face at the cobalt streaks across her knuckles.</p>
<p>     <em>Hell,</em> she thought. <em>So much for putting on a 8rave face.</em></p>
<p>     Vriska turned on the sink and began trying to scrub the makeup off her hand. It was harder than she had expected, and she quickly became so exasperated with the task that she had to just give up. She let some water pool in her hands before splashing her face and running her hands briefly through her hair. She shut the faucet off and turned back to the mirror. Seeing her haggard reflection only made her feel more tired.</p>
<p>     Quietly, Vriska cracked open the door to the bathroom and peeked out down the hallway. She hadn’t heard John come upstairs, but she looked around just to be sure. She slid through the doorway before creeping across the hall to the bedroom, her bare feet stealthy against the floor while she was holding her heels in her hand.</p>
<p>     She closed the bedroom door behind her without a sound, then sighed and began to undress. Before she had moved in, John was still sleeping in his old bedroom. The house had barely been changed at all since he had entered the game, which suddenly felt like a lifetime ago. John had left all of his old posters and stuff up and everything. Vriska had thought it was kinda cute, but John got weirdly self-conscious about it. Vriska had helped him rearrange the furniture, bringing his desk and chair into his dad’s old room, and putting all of his dad’s old decorations downstairs in the study. Soon after, they had gotten a TV for the bedroom, and did a little bit of decorating, although John and Vriska agreed on leaving the movie posters up in what was now the guest bedroom.</p>
<p>     As she took off her blazer, Vriska held it in front of her for a moment, contemplating it. She considered hanging it back up in the closet, but, with a shrug and an exasperated groan, she simply dropped it on the floor. She hastily took off the rest of her outfit, creating a small pile in the middle of the room before reaching into a small dresser for some pyjamas. Once she had re-dressed in more comfortable clothing, she crawled into bed, curled up under John’s sky-blue blanket, and sighed herself to sleep as the last light of the evening disappeared over the partly obscure horizon.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>     John glanced over at a clock on the wall right next to the swinging doors to the kitchen. Then he took his last bite of his dinner.</p>
<p>     John had cooked up his famous <em>Spaghetti a-la-Egbert</em>, an entirely improvised pasta dish which he had thrown together the first time Vriska had come over to the house for a date. There wasn’t any <em>precise</em> recipe, per-se, but it wasn’t exactly the most complicated meal. It mostly consisted of spaghetti mixed in with a home-made wine sauce, which always tasted slightly different because of the different herbs and spices used to prepare it. John had committed the recipe mostly to memory, since Vriska had ended up liking it so much, though there were always slight variations to the flavor whenever he made it.</p>
<p>     <em>speaking of vriska,</em> he thought. <em>she should have come back down by now.</em></p>
<p>     Usually, when Vriska was in one of her silently angry moods, they didn’t last long. It was very uncharacteristic of Vriska to resist speaking her mind about something, especially if it bothered her. John could recall certain occasions where she would disappear in a huff, and then no more than five minutes later reappear to scream and rant to him for over an hour. Tonight, however, it was different. John looked across the table at the empty seat before him as he slurped up the last noodle. A place had been set for her, since he had figured she would have come back down before he had finished eating. John furrowed his brow slightly as he got up to bring his plate to the kitchen sink.</p>
<p>     John concluded that their admittedly less-than-ideal day at Crockercorp had really taken a toll on Vriska, impacting her on a much deeper level than she had let on. From the sink, John looked back at the plate he had left out for her. He decided that the best thing to do would be to put a cover on it and let Vriska find it whenever she reappeared. John dug out a serving lid from one of the kitchen cabinets and placed it gently over the mass of spaghetti noodles. Then he got out a kettle and, having filled it with water, placed it on the stove top to boil.</p>
<p>     Now that he really thought about it, “less-than-ideal” was a pretty euphemistic way of describing their first, and undoubtedly last, day working for Jane. The whole affair had been an unmitigated disaster. Straight away, John had known that Vriska was going to butt heads with Chris, Crockercorp One’s Marketing Head. Chris was an insidious man who could look you in the eyes and smile even while he was driving a dagger into your gut. He had tiny eyes and a massive smile, and his hair was so full of product that it gleamed under the bright, Crockercorp lights. At first, he had seemed like he was tolerating Vriska, but as the day wore on, it became clear to John that he was actively targeting her. He would make belittling jokes about her, and passive-aggressively criticize all of her suggestions. Granted, most of her suggestions involved piratical themes or heavily featured the number eight, but they weren’t <em>all</em> bad. And besides, that didn’t really excuse how hard the manager was on her. Toward the end of the day, Vriska had gotten so fed up with Chris that she threw a fit during a meeting. Apparently, he had gone one comment too far and ended up taking a paperweight to the head. John had seen, from his desk, security personnel trying to escort Vriska out of the conference room and rushed over to help calm her down. She flailed and swore at the security guards the entire elevator ride down to the lobby. She had eventually calmed down once John convinced the security team to let him take care of her, but she was still livid when they walked past reception and went out into the parking lot, only minutes before the rest of the tower’s employees would be getting off themselves.</p>
<p>     The kettle on the stove started coming to a boil, so John opened up another cupboard and set out two mugs. One was his Official Glow-in-the-Dark Slimer Mug; the other was a round mug that looked like a magic 8-ball. John had gotten the 8-ball mug for Vriska as a gift once, and she had since refused to take her tea out of anything else. For such a complicated woman, she was pretty simple to shop for.</p>
<p>     Once the kettle started squealing, he took it off the stove and poured the steaming water into the mugs on the counter. He got out some of his decaffeinated tea and prepared some hot drink for himself and Vriska. He figured that if she was still upset, some warm tea might be enough to soothe her, at least a little bit.</p>
<p>     John picked the mugs up gingerly and carried them slowly out of the kitchen and up the stairs to the second floor. The lights were off, and the sun had set outside, making the hallway a little dark for him. But, he carried on anyway. Just to be sure, he peeked through the door to the bathroom. It was empty, so he figured Vriska must have gone to bed early. He took the tea with him across the hall and inched the door open with his foot.</p>
<p>     The bedroom was dark, too, but he could see Vriska under the blanket. She was sleeping on her side, her back to him. John smiled warmly as he saw her, and he tiptoed around the bed to stand next to her. Gently, quietly, he placed the warm mug of tea on the nightstand beside her and crept around to his side of the bed. He set his mug down and turned on the small nightstand lamp. Vriska didn’t stir.</p>
<p>     John noticed the pile of clothes on the floor and chuckled softly to himself. He picked up and sorted through the pile before getting into his own pyjamas. He grabbed his copy of <em>The Sun Also Rises </em>from his desk and slid into bed next to Vriska. With the lamp on for him to read by, John sipped quietly from his tea. He glanced occasionally over at Vriska, but mostly focused on his book. He wasn’t sure how an Ernest Hemingway novel had wound up in his house in the first place, but it was a pretty decent read, and he didn’t really mind.</p>
<p>     He felt Vriska shift slightly, and he turned to her. She didn’t seem to be stirring. John smiled and took another sip from his tea before setting it back down on the nightstand. He turned to the next page of the book. As he did, he began to feel extraordinarily tired. It hit him like a wave, and the words began swimming on the page in front of him. He closed his eyes for just a moment, and he was out before his head hit the pillow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     Vriska waited for a moment after she heard John conk out. Slowly, she took her hand away from her forehead and gingerly lifted the blanket off of herself. She rolled out of the bed and into her slippers before picking up the mug of tea that John had left for her. She smirked to herself and took a sip, letting the soothing warmth fill her belly. She looked back at John, who had his book spread out across his chest. He was drooling a little, and Vriska thought it was cute how dorky he looked, even while he was asleep.</p>
<p>     Vriska left the bedroom and made her way quietly down the stairs, holding the 8-ball mug with both hands because she like how warm it felt. When she reached the bottom, she turned briefly to glance back up at the shadow-draped hallway before shaking her head and slipping into the kitchen.</p>
<p>     Vriska slunk over to the table and sat down. She eyed the serving lid, which she assumed John had left out for her whenever he had made dinner. How long had she actually been asleep?</p>
<p>     <em>What the hell does it matter?</em> she thought as she pushed the plate over a little to free up the table space in front of her. <em>I’m not even hungry, anyway.</em></p>
<p>     Vriska closed her eyes and breathed in deeply before exhaling a drawn-out, cathartic breath and turning back to her tea. Once she had finished it, she brought the mug over to the sink and then went back to the table. She paused for a moment before pulling out her phone and typing up a message.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]--</p>
<p>AG: Hey, Pyrope........ you there?</p>
<p>GC: Y34H.</p>
<p>GC: WH4T 1S 1T?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Vriska hesitated a moment before replying. What <em>was</em> it? She wasn’t sure if she’d even be able to name it, much less explain it to Terezi.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AG: Nothing, I guess? Or may8e something?</p>
<p>GC: WOW, TH4T’S NOT 4MB1GUOUS 4T 4LL.</p>
<p>AG: And your sarcasm is really helpful!!!!!!!!</p>
<p>GC: H3H3 &gt;:]</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     Vriska smiled to herself. Terezi could be a real pain sometimes, but she usually knew how to make Vriska smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>GC: S3R1OUSLY, THOUGH, WH4T’S GO1NG ON?</p>
<p>AG: I don’t know... pro8a8ly nothing. I’ve just 8een having kind of a weird day.</p>
<p>GC: 4NYTH1NG WORTH T4LK1NG 4BOUT?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     Vriska paused again, then replied affirmatively.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>AG: I suppose it couldn’t hurt........</p>
<p>GC: W3LL, TH3N, YOU SHOULD PROB4BLY COM3 OV3R. T3XT1NG 1SN’T 3X4CTLY TH3 PR3F3RR3D M3THOD OF COMMUN1C4T1ON FOR BL1ND G1RLS.</p>
<p>AG: Hehehehehehehehe fine, I’ll 8e right over.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. ---ACT 1, PART 4---</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Vriska: Head Right Over</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>     Vriska brushed her hair out of her face with her hands as she got out of John’s car and began walking up to Terezi’s front door. She had cleaned herself up a bit before heading over, and had gotten re-dressed, albeit in her much more comfortable casual outfit. She got up to the door, took a deep breath and knocked.</p><p>     “1’M COM1NG!”</p><p>     Vriska waited outside for a minute before she heard the shuffling of Terezi’s feet and the <em>tap</em> of her cane on the wood flooring. Suddenly, the door swung open, and before her stood Terezi Pyrope, in full Redglare regalia. She had the whole red-and-teal getup on, and bits of toy stuffing were strangled in her hair.</p><p>     “4H, Y3S, TH3 M4RQU1S3. 1’V3 B33N 3XP3CT1NG YOU. COM3 1N, COM3 1N.”</p><p>     Terezi waved Vriska into her hive and bustled off into another room. Vriska stood in the doorway and looked around. It had actually been a while since she had visited her old friend, but she could tell that not very much had changed around the place. For one, Terezi’s walls were still covered in garish, clashing colors, chalked on by the Neophyte herself during one of her “trials,” no doubt. Apparently, she had also found the time to paint all of the furniture different colors. This put a toothy grin on Vriska’s face. Terezi was rocking the whole “free-spirit” vibe.</p><p>     “I didn’t know you were going to 8e the one greeting me, Redglare,” Vriska called out. “I would have 8rought my costume, too.”</p><p>     Terezi returned from the other room, her hair now free of plush toy innards.</p><p>     “4H, DON’T WORRY 4BOUT 1T, 1 H4D JUST F1N1SH3D UP 4NYW4Y.”</p><p>     She shambled over to her living room area, which had a couple of human couches arranged around a small coffee table.</p><p>     “COM3 ON, VR1SK4, T4K3 4 S34T,” she grinned, indicating one of the chairs across the table from her.</p><p>     Vriska obliged and sank into the soft touch of the plush couch.</p><p>     “Woooooooow,” Vriska sighed. “That feels really nice.”</p><p>     “1 KNOW, R1GHT?” Terezi chuckled. “1 BUMP3D 1NTO TH3S3 B4B13S 4T TH3 CROCK3R-K34 TH3 OTH3R D4Y 4ND W4SN’T 4BL3 TO H3LP MYS3LF.”</p><p>     “You went to the Crocker-kea the other day?”</p><p>     “1’M BL1ND, S3RK3T, NOT D3G3N3R4T3.”</p><p>     “You know that’s not what I me8nt,” Vriska snapped. “I just didn’t know you were up around our neck of the woods is all.”</p><p>     “R3L4X, S3RK3T,” Terezi snickered. “1 W4S JUST T34S1NG. LOOKS L1K3 SOM3TH1NG’S GOT YOU R34LLY WOUND UP TOD4Y.”</p><p>     “Yeah, I don’t know. I just... haven’t really 8een feeling like <em>myself</em> lately, you know?”</p><p>     “HMM...” Terezi nodded solemnly. “T3LL M3 MOR3.”</p><p>     “Well... I don’t know. Ever since I moved in with John, things have just 8een... different? Like, different in a good way, 8ut, also, sort of, in a 8ad way?”</p><p>     “UH-HUH,” Terezi continued to nod. “1 S33.”</p><p>     “And just, all of a sudden, I’m feeling... wait a minute.”</p><p>     Vriska’s mind snapped back into focus as she eyed Terezi.</p><p>     “Did you just make a 8lind joke?”</p><p>     “HUH?”</p><p>     “Have you even 8een listening, or are you just f8king it?”</p><p>     “1, UH...” Terezi grimaced.</p><p>     “What the h8ll, Pyrope????????”</p><p>     “H3Y, DON’T B1T3 MY H34D OFF, VR1SK4,” Terezi raised her hands. “1 W4S JUST TRY1NG OUT SOM3 OF TH3 STUFF ROS3 W4S T3LL1NG M3 4BOUT.”</p><p>     “Rose? Lalonde?!”</p><p>     “1S TH3R3 4NOTH3R ROS3 W3’R3 BOTH FR13NDS W1TH?”</p><p>     “When were you t8lking with Rose L8londe?!”</p><p>     “...WH3N 1 W4S 4T TH3 CROCK3R-K34.”</p><p>     “When you were 8t the Crocker-ke8!” Vriska threw her hands up in frustration.</p><p>     “LOOK, 1T W4SN’T, L1K3, 4 PL4NN3D TR1P OR 4NYTH1NG! M4RY4M JUST C4LL3D M3 UP ON3 D4Y 4ND W4S 4LL L1K3, ‘<em>Oh, Hey, Do You Want To Go To Crocker-kea?</em>’ 4ND OF COURS3 1 S41D Y3S, B3C4US3 1F YOU DON’T L1K3 4LL TH3 SM3LLS 4ND T4ST3S 4T 4 CROCK3R-K34, YOU’R3 4BSOLUT3LY LY1NG TO YOURS3LF, 4ND—”</p><p>     “T8R8Z8!!!!!!!!”</p><p>     “OK4Y, OK4Y, F1N3!”</p><p>     “Excuse Me,” came a quiet voice from Terezi’s staircase. “But Would The Two Of You Mind Terribly If I Asked You To Keep It Down Out Here?”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>     “OK8Y, WH8T TH8 <em>FUCK</em> IS <em>SHE</em> DOING HERE?!?!?!?!”</p><p>     “Vriska, I Did Not Think My Request Was Too Unreasonable,” Kanaya winced. “And Besides, I Do Not See The Point In Your Doing The Exact Opposite, Outside Of Trying To Spite Me.”</p><p>     “D1D 1 NOT T3LL YOU TH4T K4N4Y4 W4S OV3R?”</p><p>     “NO????????”</p><p>     “HUH.”</p><p>     “And Rose Is Asleep Upstairs, So I Would Appreciate You Not Waking Her.”</p><p>     “Gr8,” Vriska grumbled. “So Maryam AND Lalonde are here. Who’s next, Terezi? Have you got G8mzee crawling around in your fuck8ng vents?”</p><p>     “Of Course Not. That Would Be Ridiculous.”</p><p>     “I’m sorry, is your name ‘Terezi,’ now?”</p><p>     Kanaya pursed her lips and scowled at Vriska.</p><p>     “I Do Not Understand Why You Feel The Need To Behave In Such A Belligerent Manner.”</p><p>     “Oh, you want 8elligerent?” Vriska snarled, rising from her seat. “8ecause I can give you 8elligerent!”</p><p>     “VR1SK4, R3L4X,” Terezi chided. “TH3Y JUST C4M3 OV3R TO CH4T 34RL13R, 4ND 1 TOLD TH3M TH3Y COULD SP3ND TH3 N1GHT H3R3 1F TH3Y W4NT3D.”</p><p>     “Hmmph,” Vriska muttered, plopping back down on the couch.</p><p>     “Kanaya?” a groggy voice called out. “Kanaya, where did you go?”</p><p>     “Oh, See? Your Shouting Woke Her Up,” Kanaya stuck her chin out pointedly at Vriska before turning towards the top of the stairs. “Just A Moment, Love, I Will Be Returning Shortly.”</p><p>     “Well, excuuuuuuuuse me for 8eing caught off-guard by the sudden appearance of someone I had a8solutely no reason to suspect would 8e here!”</p><p>     “Kanaya, is someone there?”</p><p>     “Do Not Worry About It, Go Back To Bed,” Kanaya called up before turning back to Vriska. “Look, I Am Not Asking You To Perform Any Sort Of Supernatural Feat Of Willpower Here. I Am Just Asking You To Be Quiet.”</p><p>     “Fine, wh8tever,” Vriska huffed contemptuously, crossing her arms over her chest.</p><p>     “Thank You.”</p><p>     Before Kanaya could turn and head back up the stairs, however, a human female’s head popped out from around the corner.</p><p>     “Vriska?” the head asked incredulously. “What are <em>you</em> doing here?”</p><p>     “Hey, Rose,” Vriska grumbled. “I could ask you the same thing.”</p><p>     “Hmm,” Rose murmured. “I suppose you could.”</p><p>     Rose turned to Kanaya and placed a hand delicately on her wife’s shoulder.</p><p>     “Kanaya, dear,” she said, her voice soft and still half asleep. “Could you perhaps make us all some tea?”</p><p>     “Are You Sure?” Kanaya whispered back, her brows furrowed. “You Still Seem Rather Weary.”</p><p>     “That’s what the tea is for, darling,” Rose smiled, patting Kanaya gently.</p><p>     “Alright, well, this has been fun,” Vriska stood to leave. “Buuuuuuuut I think I’d better be going.”</p><p>     “WH4T? NO,” Terezi insisted, also rising from the couch. “YOU JUST GOT H3R3!”</p><p>     “Vriska, do stick around for a bit,” Rose said, a slight twinkle in her eye. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about.”</p><p>     After a moment, Vriska sighed and sat back down again.</p><p>     “Fine,” she grunted. “8ut only 8ecause I really don’t feel like going home right now.”</p><p>     “That’s the spirit,” came Rose’s chipper sarcasm. “Kanaya, dear?”</p><p>     “Yes, Yes, Alright. I Shall Go Prepare Your Tea.”</p><p>     “Can you prepare some for me, while you’re in there?” Vriska smirked.</p><p>     Kanaya turned and looked her dead in the eyes.</p><p>     “No.”</p><p>     With a swish of her green-and-purple dress, which Vriska was only now noticing, Kanaya floated down the stairs and vanished into Terezi’s kitchen.</p><p>     Rose looked on after her from the stairs and sighed a dreamy sigh.</p><p>     “Goodness,” she murmured. “But I do love that woman.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>     Soon after, Kanaya returned to Terezi’s living room, gingerly carrying a large, steaming mug of hot tea. She set it down on the coffee table in front of Rose and took a seat next to her.</p><p>     Rose was sitting on the couch directly across from Vriska. Terezi had gotten up and switched sofas, and she was now seated to Vriska’s right. She sniffed the air as the tea’s soothing aroma began to waft throughout the room.</p><p>     “HMMMM,” she muttered. “M4RY4M, D1D YOU US3 MY GOOD STUFF?”</p><p>     “It Is Certainly Possible,” Kanaya replied, coyly. “Though, Of Course, I Would Have No Way Of Intuitively Knowing What Constitutes Your ‘Good Stuff,’ And Therefore Should Not Be Held Responsible As If I <em>Had </em>Known.”</p><p>     “You could have just said ‘Yes.’”</p><p>     “Anyway...” Kanaya rolled her eyes.</p><p>     “Anyway,” Rose began. “Let us get down to the matter at hand.”</p><p>     “Which is...?”</p><p>     “Well, first of all,” she winked. “How’s John?”</p><p>     “What’s it to you?” Vriska asked defensively.</p><p>     “I mean, he <em>is</em> one of my oldest friends, Vriska,” Rose took a sip of her tea. “It’s just that Kanaya and I have been so busy with everything going on <em>here</em> that we haven’t had the chance to catch-up in a while.”</p><p>     “He’s fine, I guess,” Vriska shrugged. “He’s still a huge dork, if that’s what you’re asking.”</p><p>     “Ah, yes,” Rose chuckled. “I’ve no doubts about that.”</p><p>     Vriska nodded.</p><p>     “Yeah. He’s also 8een really into reading these weird 8ooks lately. Heming-whatever?”</p><p>     “Oh, he finally found my Hemingway books?” Rose tilted her head. “I hid those in his house years ago.”</p><p>     “He Probably Still Thinks You Forgot His Birthday That Year.”</p><p>     “That gift was supposed to be from the both of us, you know.”</p><p>     “Yes, But I Find It Highly Unlikely That John Cares Whether Or Not <em>I</em> Got Him A Birthday Gift.”</p><p>     “Point taken,” Rose nodded. “Remind me to explain the book thing to him at some point.”</p><p>     “Of Course,” Kanaya smiled.</p><p>     “Anyway, I’m glad he likes the books,” Rose turned back to Vriska, taking another sip. “How are you two getting on, then?”</p><p>     “Things have 8een great, actually,” Vriska bobbed her head. “We pretty much get to do whatever we want, whenever we want.”</p><p>     “Well, being ‘gods’ certainly has its perks, I suppose.”</p><p>     “I mean, yeah. 8ut it also means you run out of things to do fairly early on in your eternity.”</p><p>     “Ah, I see. Boredom is starting to set in?”</p><p>     “Don’t get me wrong,” Vriska insisted. “I’m still having a 8last. 8ut I know John’s not as happy as he used to 8e.”</p><p>     “Hmm,” Rose nodded, taking the mug away from her lips. “That is unfortunate.”</p><p>     “Forgive Me For Prying,” Kanaya jumped in. “But, Did The Two Of You Not Recently Take Jobs Working For Jane’s Corporate Empire?”</p><p>     “Who told you that?” Vriska said, a bit taken aback.</p><p>     “UM... 1 D1D.”</p><p>     “TEREZI!!!!!!!!”</p><p>     “1 D1DN’T S33 TH3 H4RM 1N 1T,” she shrugged. “B3S1D3S, HOW W4S 1 SUPPOS3D TO KNOW 1T W4S SOM3 SORT OF S3CR3T?”</p><p>     Vriska sighed heavily.</p><p>     “Wh8tever,” she growled. “Yeah, we got jo8s there. I got fired on my first day.”</p><p>     “Oh my.”</p><p>     “I’m... Sorry To Hear That,” Kanaya dipped her head apologetically.</p><p>     “It’s fine,” Vriska said.</p><p>     “And what about John?” Rose asked.</p><p>     “Nah, Jane wouldn’t fire him. They let him leave with me, though.”</p><p>     “Well, That’s Something, At Least.”</p><p>     “Knowing John, he’s probably a little relieved things didn’t work out with Jane,” Rose shrugged. “I never pictured the two of you as corporate shills, anyway.”</p><p>     “That’s ridiculous,” Vriska scoffed. “It was his idea in the first place. 8esides, he knows he doesn’t have to quit just 8ecause I got fired.”</p><p>     “No, he doesn’t,” Rose agreed. “But he probably will.”</p><p>     “So what?”</p><p>     “So...” Rose grinned. “The two of you are about to have a lot of time on your hands.”</p><p>     “What are you getting at, Lalonde?”</p><p>     Rose took another sip of her tea.</p><p>     “Well, since you asked,” she turned knowingly to Kanaya. “Kanaya and I have been... talking.”</p><p>     “A8out?” Vriska inquired further.</p><p>     “We Have Been Working Rather Diligently In Order To Raise The Mother Grub To Maturation,” Kanaya explained. “And So, Naturally, The Topic Of Raising Children Has Come Up More Than Once.”</p><p>     “Sure...” Vriska nodded, still unsure where this conversation was going.</p><p>     “Well, normally,” Rose jumped in. “There would be no biological way for a human and a troll to produce viable offspring. Or... offspring at all, for that matter. Our respective biologies are simply too different.”</p><p>     “But Then, It Occurred To Us,” Kanaya interjected again excitedly. “That There Are Alternative Means Of Producing Genetically Similar Offspring.”</p><p>     “What do you mean, ‘Alternative Means?’”</p><p>     “Tell me, Vriska,” Rose’s eye twinkled again. “How familiar are you with ectobiology?”</p><p>     Vriska nearly choked on her own spit.</p><p>     “W8, WHAT?!?”</p><p>     “It Is The Process Instrumental To Breeding The World Frog And Beating The Game.”</p><p>     “It’s the process by which we were all born.”</p><p>     “Yeah, yeah, I know what it is,” Vriska waved her hands dismissively. “8ut what does that have to do with you two having kids?”</p><p>     “Well, my theory is that, with the proper calibration, an ectobiology lab can be used to create offspring derived from the genetic information of both a troll and a human.”</p><p>     “In Other Words,” Kanaya smiled. “Biological Children.”</p><p>     “Do you realize how crazy this sounds?” Vriska looked back and forth between the two of them. “8esides, where the hell do you plan to find an ecto8iology la8, anyway? Didn’t we leave all that shit 8ehind when we came here?”</p><p>     “Most of it, that’s for sure,” Rose nodded. “But not all.”</p><p>     “We Stumbled Upon An Old, Abandoned Lab While On A Walk The Other Day,” Kanaya clarified. “It Is... Something Of a Wreck. But Still, It Exists.”</p><p>     “It must have somehow landed on this planet after we all left the Medium,” Rose mused. “The important thing is that it’s here now, and that we have been presented with a golden opportunity.”</p><p>     “So, what does all this have to do with John and me?”</p><p>     “We were wondering if the two of you would want to participate in some trial runs.”</p><p>     “Once We Figure Out How To Get The Lab Working Again, We Intend To Run Some Experimental Trials In Order To Ensure We Have Properly Recalibrated The Machinery.”</p><p>     “And since Kanaya and I will be running the trials, we’ll need another couple to test our adjustments on.”</p><p>     “So you want us to 8e your LA8 RATS?!” Vriska shouted.</p><p>     “That’s... kind of a negative way of thinking about it, isn’t it?”</p><p>     “8ut, why us? I mean, couldn’t you get Dave and Karkat to stand around in your dum8 machine?”</p><p>     “Believe Me, Vriska, You Were Not My First Choice Either,” Kanaya folder her arms. “But Karkat Somehow Manages To Be Less Agreeable Than You. Besides, It Is Rose’s Opinion That John Has... How Did You Put It?”</p><p>     “A latent gift for guinea-pigging.”</p><p>     “Ah, Yes, That Was It.”</p><p>     “Alright, this is ridiculous,” Vriska stood, preparing to leave. “I’ll have to say thanks, 8ut no thanks. We’ve got 8etter things to do than get involved in this 8ullshit.”</p><p>     “Suit yourself,” Rose shrugged. “But give it some thought, won’t you?”</p><p>     “Whatever,” Vriska shook her head. “I’m leaving.”</p><p>     With that, Vriska brushed past Terezi and stomped out through the front door.</p><p>     “VR1SK4, W41T!!!” Terezi called after her. But it was no use, as she was already in her car and backing out of the driveway.</p><p>     “Well,” Kanaya sighed. “That Went About As Well As One Might Expect.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. ----ACT 1, PART 5----</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>John: Wake Up</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>John’s eyes slowly rolled open. His eyelids were heavy, and they fought him every step of the way. He was groggy, and had a little bit of a headache. Sitting up in bed, John looked over to find that Vriska was no longer lying beside him.</p><p>     <em>well, she’s out of bed, at least.</em></p><p>     He looked down at the book still open in his lap and sighed, placing it on the nightstand beside him before sliding out of bed. Daylight was streaming through the window as he stumbled around the bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom. He wiped the drool away and brushed his teeth, and tried to rub some of the sleep out of his eyes before heading downstairs.</p><p>     John swung open the doors to the kitchen, and found Vriska sitting at the table and hungrily tearing into her leftover plate of spaghetti. She didn’t look up as John came in and plopped down in the chair across from her.</p><p>     “hey, you.”</p><p>     “Hey.”</p><p>     They sat in silence for a moment, Vriska eating, John just watching her. She stared down at her plate of food with laser-focus, though John could clearly tell her mind was elsewhere, no doubt mulling over something and overcomplicating it unnecessarily. John found that tendency endearing, though, and she helped balance him out; he had a preference for the straightforward that benefited from Vriska’s ability to see the nuances of a situation. And, likewise, his ability to see the simplicity in things helped to cut through some of Vriska’s fixation on the details.</p><p>     “how are you feeling?” he asked tentatively.</p><p>     “Fine,” Vriska replied. “8etter.”</p><p>     “glad to hear it.”</p><p>     “Thanks for making tea, 8y the way. Sorry I went to sleep on you.”</p><p>     “ah, don’t worry about it,” John smiled.</p><p>     Vriska took another bite of her spaghetti.</p><p>     “What a8out you?” she asked. “Did you sleep alright?”</p><p>     “i guess so,” John shrugged. “i feel like i just kinda passed out. and also, my head is killing me.”</p><p>     Vriska nodded.</p><p>     “Text8ook stress symptoms,” she said. “You should pro8a8ly try to relax today.”</p><p>     “well, i’m always up for a little relaxation.”</p><p>     John stretched and let out a long yawn.</p><p>     “besides,” he said, “i still owe you a movie night.”</p><p>     “Damn right,” Vriska chuckled.</p><p>     It was nice to see her smiling again. John had been pretty worried about her last night, but it looked like a bit of rest was just what she’d needed to get through yesterday’s stress. She was tough, and it would take more than that snarky asshole Chris to put her in a real slump.</p><p>     John got up and walked around to the other side of the table, wrapping his arms around Vriska’s neck and laying his face down in her hair as he hugged her.</p><p>     “Um, excuse me?” Vriska giggled. “I’m trying to eat, you know.”</p><p>     “yeah, i know,” he sighed. “i just love you, is all.”</p><p>     “Geez, Eg8ert,” Vriska groaned. “You’re getting to 8e a real mush8all.”</p><p>     “i happen to think that’s one of my more endearing qualities.”</p><p>     “Yeah, right,” Vriska laughed, prying his arms off of her so she could turn around to face him. “Come here, you 8ig dork.”</p><p>     She pulled him down towards her and kissed him, her embrace tender and warm. John felt a wave of tranquility wash over him as he locked lips with Vriska, the kind of inner peace he’d only ever known with her. Some of their happiest moments together were ones like this, when everything else seemed to slip away into a fuzzy softness and it was just the two of them, wholly and fully given over to one another. John smiled as Vriska caressed his face, and he hers.</p><p>     Vriska gently pushed John away and stood up.</p><p>     “That’s enough of that,” she smiled. “Come on, you’d 8etter go get ready for work.”</p><p>     “huh?”</p><p>     “You know... work? Like, your jo8?”</p><p>     “oh, crap!” John cried. “what the hell time is it?”</p><p>     “Just a8out half-past 8,” Vriska snickered. “Go on, then, working-man! You’re gonna have to hurry if you want to 8e on time!”</p><p>     “ahhhhhhhh,” John panicked, scrambling back upstairs to quickly get dressed.</p><p>Dashing into the bedroom, he grabbed the first nice-looking shirt he could find, some decent trousers, and fumbled into a pair of thin, black socks. He was like a whirlwind trying to get ready, and he could hear Vriska downstairs, cackling at the commotion he was making.</p><p>John ran to the bathroom, fixed his hair, straightened out his clothes, and then hurried back down the stairs to leave. Vriska was leaning against the frame of the doorway into the kitchen smiling at him as he descended.</p><p>“what is it?” he asked.</p><p>     “Oh, nothing,” she replied, giving him a sly wink. “I just think it’s really cute, the way you try so hard.”</p><p>     “well, as long as it makes <em>you</em> happy,” John smirked.</p><p>     “8elive me, it does.”</p><p>     John shook his head and went out through the front door. He jogged down the driveway toward his car, unlocking it as he approached. He opened the car door, but before he could get in, he heard Vriska call out his name from the front walkway.</p><p>     He looked up to see her waving to him, a wide, genuine smile spread across her face.</p><p>     “I love you, too, Eg8ert!” she shouted.</p><p>     John grinned and waved back at her as he got into his car and started it up. Then, he backed out of the driveway and was on his way to work.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>John was sitting at his desk in Crockercorp One’s Marketing Department, trying to work up the nerve to go up to Jane’s office and give her his two-week notice. The decision itself wasn’t hard; he didn’t really care about this job, nor did he need it, and if it was going to keep him apart from Vriska for most of the day, then why the hell was he doing it? Still, there was something about the prospect of going right to Jane and telling her he quit that made him incredibly nervous. Jane would be cordial, of course, but she was notorious for holding grudges, and the last thing John needed was to get on her bad side.</p><p>     As he sat there deliberating, the small telephone on his desk began to ring. It was a tinny tinkling, loud enough to get John to notice it, though not quite loud enough to be a disturbance for the rest of the floor.</p><p>     <em>a true marvel of crockercorp engineering...</em> John rolled his eyes as he picked up the red handset and brought the receiver up to his ear.</p><p>     “hello?”</p><p>     “Mister Egbert!” came the enthusiastic voice on the other end of the line. “Miss Crocker has requested your presence in her office! Your manager has been notified, and you are expected to come up to the one-thousandth floor immediately!”</p><p>     “oh, uh, okay,” John stammered as he heard the <em>click</em> of the phone being hung up.</p><p>     <em>creepy,</em> he thought. Had she been able to read his mind? Could she sense his anxiety from all the way down here on the eight-hundredth floor? John shivered.</p><p>     <em>it’s probably nothing,</em> John thought on his way to the elevator. <em>she’s probably just figuring that i’ll want to leave now that vriska’s gone.</em></p><p>     John did some breathing exercises as the elevator slowly climbed through the massive Crockercorp One tower. His palms were sweaty as the doors slithered open, and he tried to wipe them off on his pants as he stepped into the one-thousandth-floor lobby.</p><p>     He entered into the secretarial space and was immediately approached by the same worker who had escorted him and his friends into Jane’s office the day before. He looked as chipper as ever, his hair smooth and shiny with hair gel, and his almost unsettlingly broad smile crinkling up the corners of his eyes.</p><p>     “Right this way, Mister Egbert,” He motioned toward the big door to the office.</p><p>     John knocked tentatively and let himself in. Peeking his head through the doorway, he saw Jane was sitting behind her desk with her feet up on the top. She wore a striking, crimson power suit, and her bright-red heels were crossed over one another. Jane had her glasses down at the end of her nose, and she was apparently reading something that was paper-clipped into a filing folder. She looked up as John came in, smiling at him and waving him over to her desk.</p><p>     “Good afternoon, John,” she said warmly. “Come have a seat.”</p><p>     John sat down across from her as she swung her feet off the desk and stowed her file away in the lower-left drawer. Jane rolled her high-backed office chair closer to the edge of the desk and leaned on the wooden tabletop, staring at John over her interlaced fingers.</p><p>     “So,” she began. “How was your first day at work?”</p><p>     John just sat there, unsure what to say.</p><p>     “Don’t be so tense, John,” she smirked. “I’m trying to have a conversation with you.”</p><p>     “er, sorry,” he finally got out. “it was alright for the most part, i guess. but, uh, vriska...”</p><p>     “Ah, yes. A real shame,” Jane sighed. “But she <em>did</em> assault her manager. You understand, of course?”</p><p>     “i mean, yeah, but—”</p><p>     “Look, John, some people just aren’t cut out for corporate life,” she shrugged. “Monkeys in silk, and all that.”</p><p>     John nodded along. He didn’t want to seem like he was questioning Jane, as that would probably just make this interaction even more excruciating.</p><p>     “I think you have real potential, though John,” Jane gestured toward him. “You’re a hard worker. You’re agreeable. People like you. Really, you’re the perfect worker.”</p><p>     “um, thanks?”</p><p>     “You’re welcome. Now, personally, I think you might be lacking a little bit in the ambition department, but we can work on that,” Jane beamed. “We’ll make a filthy-rich capitalist out of you yet, John Egbert!”</p><p>     John chuckled nervously. He had no desire to be a filthy-rich capitalist; he felt perfectly fine exactly where he was. Socioeconomically, of course. He was decidedly <em>not</em> fine sitting here in Jane’s office.</p><p>     “Well, that’s enough chit-chat,” Jane leaned back in her chair. “Let’s get down to why I called you in today.”</p><p>     John felt his palms getting sweaty again.</p><p>     “I wanted to extend to you an invitation to dinner.”</p><p>     “a... what?”</p><p>     “Dinner, John,” Jane smiled patiently. “We’re family, you know. We ought to see each other more often.”</p><p>     “oh... yeah, of course.”</p><p>     “Wonderful!” Jane clapped. “Let’s set the date, then. How does Friday, next week work for you?”</p><p>     “i mean, that should be fine. i’d have to vriska first—”</p><p>     “Of course, of course,” Jane waved dismissively.</p><p>     “would she be able to come, too?”</p><p>     “Who?”</p><p>     “vriska?”</p><p>     Jane stared at John for a moment, opening her mouth as if to say something, then closing it again. Eventually, a wide, obviously strained smile spread across her face. She let out a soft snort, her eyes squinting slightly.</p><p>     “I don’t see why not.”</p><p>     “great,” John sighed with relief. “i’ll probably have to twist her arm a little, but we should be able to be there.”</p><p>     “Well, don’t twist <em>too</em> hard,” Jane smiled, forcing out a strain of shallow laughter. “Anyway, I’ll send the details over to you later, once I’ve ironed them out.”</p><p>     “alright,” John said, rising from his seat. “sounds like a plan.”</p><p>     John quickly walked over to the door, eager to leave and get away from Jane. He had just placed a hand on the door handle when Jane called out to him.</p><p>     “John,” she said.</p><p>     Slowly, he turned back around to face her.</p><p>     “I’m glad to have you at the company,” she grinned.</p><p>     John forced a smile back and nodded, slipping out of the office and back into gen-pop.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>     “What the hell is this?”</p><p>     “what’s what?”</p><p>     “Look.”</p><p>     Vriska reached across the kitchen table and handed John a white envelope addressed to the two of them in blood-red handwriting. It was small, like a postcard, but John couldn’t think of anybody who might want to send one. For the most part, if his friends ever wanted to chat, they’d just show up at his house.</p><p>     “no idea,” John said. “there’s no return address, either.”</p><p>     “So, what, some8ody hand-delivered a weird card while you were out?” Vriska puzzled.</p><p>     “looks that way.”</p><p>     “Well, go ahead and open it, then! What’re you waiting for, a written invitation?”</p><p>     “alright, alright, geez. you’re being awfully jumpy about this letter.”</p><p>     “John, I am seriously not exaggerating when I say that this is the first interesting thing that’s happened to me allllllll day! So, open the damn letter!”</p><p>     John obliged, slipping his finger beneath the seam and pulling up the envelope flap. Extracting the small piece of cardstock from inside, John could see that it was a Save-the-Date.</p><p>     <em>You are cordially invited to dinner at the Crocker residence,</em> it read. <em>Next Friday. 6:30 PM. 413 Founders Drive.</em></p><p>     “Well????????”</p><p>     “jane sure doesn’t waste any time,” John shook his head in bewilderment. “it’s an invitation to dinner.”</p><p>     “Dinner?” Vriska furrowed her brows. “Why?”</p><p>     John shrugged.</p><p>     “we talked about it a little bit while I was at the office today. she says she just wants to spend more time with ‘family.’”</p><p>     “Well, that’s 8ullshit,” Vriska grumbled. “Since when has Jane 8een all sentimental?”</p><p>     “yeah, I thought it was weird, too,” John nodded. “i didn’t really feel like arguing with her, though.”</p><p>     “W8, w8, w8,” Vriska shook her head. “Did you tell her we’d 8e going?”</p><p>     “well, i told her i’d have to ask you first,” John smiled sheepishly. “but... pretty much, yeah.”</p><p>     Vriska groaned loudly.</p><p>     “i know, i know, i don’t want to go either,” John offered apologetically.</p><p>     “Then why’d you say yessssssss?” Vriska whined, slumping and tilting her head over the back of the chair.</p><p>     “’cause jane’s scary, vris!”</p><p>     “Oh, come on, Eg8ert,” Vriska rolled her eyes. “You really are a pushover.”</p><p>     “look, we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”</p><p>     “Nope, it’s too l8 now, we have to go.”</p><p>     “what are you talking about?”</p><p>     “You were worried a8out what Jane would do if you rejected her invit8ion, right?”</p><p>     “yeah?”</p><p>     “And you don’t think it would 8e worse if you canceled on her after m8king plans?”</p><p>     John thought for a moment.</p><p>     “i guess i didn’t consider that...”</p><p>     “Eg8ert,” Vriska leaned across the table toward him. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”</p><p>     “thanks,” John rolled his eyes.</p><p>     “So, when is this dinner party, anyway?”</p><p>     “next week,” John said, handing her the invite. “here.”</p><p>     “8gh.”</p><p>     “yeah.”</p><p>     “Well, fine,” Vriska muttered. “It’s just dinner. I mean, it’s not like she’s asking us to let her sample our DNA or whatever.”</p><p>     “huh?”</p><p>     “Eh, it’s nothing,” Vriska waved him off. “Just something stupid I was chatting with Rose about earlier.”</p><p>     “you talked to rose?”</p><p>     “Yeah, just for a little 8it. It wasn’t a 8ig deal, though.”</p><p>     “did she come by the house?”</p><p>     “Uh, no,” Vriska scratched her head. “I saw her while I was out.”</p><p>     “out where?”</p><p>     “Erm...”</p><p>     Vriska quickly racked her brain for an answer that would make sense, and satisfy John.</p><p>     “At the Crocker-kea.”</p><p>     “the crocker-kea?” John asked, confused. “what were you out there for?”</p><p>     “Furn8ture shopp8ng, o8viously!” she snapped, before adding, “I was helping Terezi.”</p><p>     “i wish i’d been there,” John frowned. “i haven’t seen rose is ages.”</p><p>     Suddenly, the doorbell rang. John and Vriska both looked over, then back at each other.</p><p>     “i’ll get it,” John said, rising from his seat.</p><p>     He walked over to the front door and opened it. There, on his doorstep, were two well-dressed women carrying a bundle of papers.</p><p>     “Good evening, John,” Rose smiled. “I do hope we are not disturbing you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. ----ACT 1, PART 6----</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>John and Vriska: Chat with Rose</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>John stared at the two women on his doorstep, flabbergasted. It seemed almost as if they had been summoned by some sort of magic, like just the fact that he’d mentioned Rose’s name had triggered some sort of imperative instinct in her that made her suddenly appear wherever he was. John quickly dismissed these thoughts with a shake of his head, turning his attention back to Rose, who was still looking at him expectantly.</p><p>     “not at all,” he grinned. “come on in. vriska and i were just going through the mail.”</p><p>     John waved Rose and Kanaya inside. They carefully stepped into the living room, still clutching their papers. Rose looked around the house and smiled.</p><p>     “This place doesn’t change much, does it?”</p><p>     “not really,” John chuckled sheepishly.</p><p>     “That’s part of its charm, John,” Rose turned to him. “It is simple and honest. Much like you.”</p><p>     “i guess so,” John shrugged, closing the front door.</p><p>     “John, who was it?” Vriska called out, coming to the kitchen door. When she saw Rose and Kanaya standing in the living room, she froze.</p><p>     “Ah, there you are, Vriska,” Rose nodded, acknowledging her. “It looks like our timing was perfect.”</p><p>     “What are the two of <em>you</em> here for?”</p><p>     “You Had The Chance To Hear Some Of Our Pitch The Other Night,” Kanaya chimed in calmly. “We Thought It Only Made Sense That John Got To Hear It As Well.”</p><p>     “what’s this?”</p><p>     “John, we have a proposal for you and Vriska,” Rose beamed at him. “Could we perhaps sit down and discuss it?”</p><p>     John glanced up at Vriska, who was visibly fuming.</p><p>     “well, i don’t know if vriska—”</p><p>     “Excellent,” Rose smirked. “Come, Kanaya, let’s set our things down.”</p><p>     Rose brushed past Vriska and into the kitchen. Kanaya followed suit, flashing Vriska a smug look as she walked by. Vriska stood in the doorway for a moment, speechless, before turning to John and storming over to him.</p><p>     “Wh8t the h8ll did you let th8m in f8r?” she whispered through her teeth.</p><p>     “i mean, it’s rose and kanaya,” John looked flustered. “what was i supposed to do, send them away?”</p><p>     “Y8S!” Vriska growled. “N8w those 8itches are s8tting in our k8tchen!”</p><p>     “whoa, hey, what are you getting so worked up about?” John looked at her, puzzled. “they’re our friends, aren’t they?”</p><p>     “See, that’s the pro8lem,” Vriska put her hands up to massage her temples. “They’re counting on us to trust them 8ecause you’re friends, 8ut their plan is completely crazy!”</p><p>     “i don’t know what you’re talking about!” John frowned. “i’m literally the only person in this house right now who doesn’t know about this plan of theirs.”</p><p>     “It’s totally not worth it,” Vriska insisted.</p><p>     “well, look, we can’t just kick them out now.”</p><p>     John placed a reassuring hand on Vriska’s shoulder.</p><p>     “how about this: we’ll sit down with them, hear them out, and then ask them to go. if it’s stupid, we don’t have to worry about it anymore.”</p><p>     “Fine,” Vriska grumbled. “8ut don’t say I didn’t warn you.”</p><p>     John gave her a warm smile and walked with her back into the kitchen. Rose and Kanaya had already taken seats at the kitchen table, sitting next to each other, and were shuffling their papers around quietly.</p><p>     “so, uh... what’s all this about, again?”</p><p>     “Please, John,” Rose gestured to the seat across from her. “Have a seat.”</p><p>     With a sigh, John sat down at the table, Vriska begrudgingly taking her seat next to him. John reached over to her under the table and took her hand gently. Once they looked to be settled in, Rose began to speak.</p><p>     “So, John,” she grinned. “How much has Vriska told you about our conversation from the other night?”</p><p>     “um, nothing, really,” John shrugged. “she told me you guys met at the crocker-kea, but that was it.”</p><p>     Vriska flashed her eyes at Rose, who looked over to her quickly before nodding in understanding.</p><p>     “I see,” she said. “Well, then, to catch you up to speed, Kanaya and I have recently stumbled upon something that could change the lives of a great many people. You did a lot of the ectobiology during our session, didn’t you John?”</p><p>     “i suppose so,” John nodded. “but what’s that got to do with anything?”</p><p>     “Well, you are probably not going to believe this, but one of the old labs somehow ended up on this planet. We’ve theorized that a piece of debris carrying the lab somehow got caught up in Earth’s atmosphere as we were preparing to leave the Medium, and crash-landed here on the planet without us knowing about it.”</p><p>     “wait, seriously?!” John stared at her in shock.</p><p>     “Well, Either That, Or Someone Just Left It Around Intentionally For Us To Find,” Kanaya chuckled.</p><p>     “so... okay, so we have an ectobilogy lab here? on earth c?” John puzzled. “what exactly does that mean to us?”</p><p>     “Well, Kanaya and I have been discussing the possibility of using the laboratory to produce what would essentially be the closest approximation of natural biological children that we could achieve.”</p><p>     “you want to use the ectobilogy lab... to have kids???”</p><p>     “That Is The Idea, Yes.”</p><p>     “okay...” John rubbed his head, exhaling loudly. “but wouldn’t you need a second couple to make it work? i mean, wouldn’t you need to fill all of the tanks in the lab to get the machine going?”</p><p>     “That, old friend, is where you come in,” Rose smirked, sliding a stack of papers over to him. “Well, you and your lovely partner here.”</p><p>     “oh, wow...” John said, taken aback. “why us? i mean, are we really the ideal candidates for this?”</p><p>     “Well, personally, I find the two of you much easier to deal with than Dave and Karkat, and unfortunately, neither Kanaya nor I know any other Human-Troll couples. You are, quite literally, our best option.”</p><p>     “but, i... are you sure we’re ready to have <em>kids</em>, though?”</p><p>     “I realize this might all sound a bit daunting. But we just need a little bit of help to get the calibrations right. Besides, the lab is in complete disarray. As Kanaya and I have outlined here,” Rose tapped lightly on the stack of papers in front of John, “it will take some time to rebuild it back to perfect working order. However, if the two of us are going to commit to bringing the lab back online, we wanted to make sure we’d actually be able to use it when the time finally comes.”</p><p>     John nodded pensively. This was certainly a lot to take in. He and Vriska <em>were</em> getting pretty serious, but he had never even considered the possibility of having kids. Honestly, it was kind of a terrifying prospect. That kind of responsibility... it was a lot to have to think about. Then again, there was something about the idea of raising kids with Vriska that sounded more than a little exciting to John. It would certainly be something different. And getting Vriska involved in pretty much anything was bound to make it interesting. Still, he wasn’t sure if he was really ready to make such an important and life-changing decision on-the-spot like this.</p><p>     “well, i certainly see your point,” he said finally. “and, i’ll admit, this does sound like a pretty interesting prospect.”</p><p>     Rose beamed. Vriska shot John a look of utter disbelief and tightened her grip around his hand.</p><p>     “but we’ll definitely need time to think about this.”</p><p>     “Of course,” Rose nodded. “Take whatever time you need. You may refer to the material we’ve prepared if you have any questions regarding our proposal.”</p><p>     She stood up from the table and smiled widely before bowing again towards both John and Vriska. Then she reached a hand out for Kanaya.</p><p>     “Come, my love. Let’s give these two some time to discuss.”</p><p>     Kanaya smiled and stood as well, following Rose as she made her way out of the kitchen.</p><p>     “As I said,” Rose turned over her shoulder to face the table once more, “take your time. But, of course, sooner would be better than later.”</p><p>     She and Kanaya slipped out through the swinging doors into the living room. Then, after a brief pause, Rose stuck her head back into the kitchen.</p><p>     “Also, I’ve been meaning to tell you, John, those Hemingway books were mine. I didn’t particularly care for them, but I thought they might be the sort of thing you’d like. I suppose, in hindsight, hiding them around the house and not telling you wasn’t the best gifting strategy, especially if you’re only just finding them now, but I suppose I just wanted you to know that.”</p><p>     “wha...”</p><p>     “Bye!”</p><p>     John and Vriska sat at the table in silence as they listened to the sound of the front door opening and closing, and then Rose’s car starting out in the driveway. They heard her drive off with Kanaya, seemingly satisfied with their work at the Egbert house. John twisted his lips and turned to look at Vriska.</p><p>     “you can stop squeezing my hand now,” he joked.</p><p>     Vriska was silent for a moment, her eyes smoldering. Then, finally, she pushed John’s hand back at him and stood up from the table. Kicking her chair back, Vriska paced back and forth at the far end of the kitchen for a moment before turning to John, her face contorted into a snarl.</p><p>     “What the a8solute FUCK, Eg8ert?!”</p><p>     “what?” John cried. “what did i do?”</p><p>     “Why w8re you j8st go8ng al8ng th8m?” Vriska snapped. “I th8ught we were j8st gonna t8ll th8m the8r 8dea was stup8d and m8ke them le8ve?!”</p><p>     “well, they left anyway, didn’t they?” John retorted. “besides... <em>i</em> didn’t think it was <em>that</em> stupid of an idea...”</p><p>     “<em>WH8T?!</em>”</p><p>     “all i mean is, i think that it might be kind of fun to have kids!”</p><p>     “<em>WH8 THE H8LL C8RES WH8T Y8U TH8NK?!?!?!?!</em>” Vriska screamed.</p><p>     John was stunned. Vriska rarely lashed out at him like this, and never in such a deeply hurtful way. For the moment, all he could do was just sit in his chair, mouth agape, watching Vriska heave angrily from across the room.</p><p>     As she looked at him, Vriska’s face slowly softened. Her clenched fists relaxed, and her breathing became more calm and even. Seeing the hurt in John’s eyes made her look away, and she stalked quietly over to the sink. There was silence between them, Vriska looking out the window towards nothing in particular, John watching her pensively.</p><p>     “I... I didn’t mean it, John,” Vriska said when she finally turned around. Beads of blue were forming in the corners of her eyes, and her lip was twitching slightly as she bit down on it.</p><p>     John blinked slowly, then nodded. He was still too shocked to form any words, but wanted to show he understood nonetheless.</p><p>     “It’s just all so <em>much</em>,” she continued. “I mean, with everything that’s 8een happening recently, with <em>you</em> and <em>me</em> and getting <em>8ored</em>, and trying to make these <em>jo8s</em> work and failing <em>miserably</em>, and now <em>this</em>...”</p><p>     Vriska gripped the countertop behind her as she tried to stifle the tears that were already starting to roll down her cheeks.</p><p>     “I don’t know if I can do it anymore, Eg8ert,” she sobbed. “I’m trying and trying, 8ut I just don’t know! I feel like I’m not good enough for you, not exciting enough, like whatever we had going on at the 8eginning of all this is just <em>gone</em>. And I can’t really explain why, 8ut it just feels so <em>wrong!</em>”</p><p>     “vriska...”</p><p>     “No, don’t say anything! I <em>know</em> that I’m weak, I <em>know </em>that I’m a disappointment, and I <em>hate it!</em> I mean, I’m VRISKA-FUCKING-SERKET!!!!!!!! I’m 8etter than this!!!!!!!! I’m 8etter than that stupid asshole Chris, and I’m 8etter than Jane’s stupid company, and I’m 8etter than CRY8NG ON THE K8TCHEN FL88R 8T MY 8OYFR8END’S H8USE!!!!!!!!”</p><p>     Her body was visibly shaking now. John thought she might literally explode at any second. The tears were really falling now, the inky blue dripping onto the floor and leaving wet marks on Vriska’s clothes. As she sank to the ground, John stood up and started around the table toward her.</p><p>     John sat down next to Vriska, who had curled her knees up to her chest and was bawling into her lap. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and began to rub her back. He wasn’t that great at being comforting, but this was something he’d always seen people do in movies, and it seemed to work for him more often than not. After a couple minutes, the sounds of Vriska’s crying began to subside, and she slowly lifted her head to look at him.</p><p>     “John...”</p><p>     With a soft smile, John placed a finger under Vriska’s chin and kissed her. She wrapped her arms weakly around his neck as he ran a hand through her thick, black hair, cradling her head and holding her close. When he finally pulled away, he wiped a tear away from Vriska’s eye with the tip of his thumb.</p><p>     “you are better than that, vriska. all of it. and nobody knows that better than me.</p><p>     “i understand if you feel like you aren’t ready for all of this. hell, this is all crazy, new territory for me, too. but just so you know, there isn’t a single possible way for you to disappoint me. you are the most amazing girl i’ve ever met, and you sure as hell aren’t boring. i don’t know what i did to deserve you, vris, but i’m thankful for it every day.”</p><p>     Vriska smiled back up at him.</p><p>     “You promise you don’t h8 me, Eg8ert?”</p><p>     “yeah,” John chuckled, “i promise.”</p><p>     “Good.”</p><p>     Vriska turned away from him, but leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder.</p><p>     “we can talk about this whole rose-and-kanaya situation another time. for now, though, how ‘bout i whip us up some tea?”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>“Heyyyyyyyy, Eg8ert.”</p><p>     Vriska grinned as John’s eyes blinked open. The morning sun was shining through the window as John and Vriska lay in bed, and the rays seemed to form a sort of fuzzy halo around Vriska’s head as she propped herself up on one elbow.</p><p>     “hey,” John smiled.</p><p>     Vriska reached over and tousled his hair.</p><p>     “Sleep well?”</p><p>     John stretched and nodded lazily.</p><p>     “Glad to hear it.”</p><p>     Vriska leaned down and gave John a peck on the cheek. John rolled over onto his side and propped himself up as well, grinning. With his other hand, he began to run his fingers through Vriska’s hair, brushing the stray pieces out of her face and tucking them behind her horns. Vriska hummed contentedly and kissed him again.</p><p>     “You know what today is, don’t you?”</p><p>     “hm?”</p><p>     “It’s Saturday,” she pushed him playfully.</p><p>     “already?” John marveled.</p><p>     “Yep. Which means today,” Vriska winked, “I get you all to myself.”</p><p>     “mmmm...” John murmured. “i like the sound of that.”</p><p>     “Yeah, I 8et,” Vriska grinned.</p><p>     John closed his eyes and leaned in for a kiss. Instead of being pulled the rest of the way in, however, he was violently shoved off of the bed. Toppling over the side, John flopped onto the bedroom floor. He scrambled to sit up, and was thankful that he had remembered to take off his glasses the night before.</p><p>     “Rise and shine, Eg8ert!” Vriska snickered. “It’s time to get ready!”</p><p>     “ouch... ready for what?” John asked, rubbing his head.</p><p>     Vriska lay across the bed, poking her head over the side to smile mischievously down at John.</p><p>     “<em>You </em>are taking me on a d8 today, Eg8ert.”</p><p>     “i am?”</p><p>     “Mm-hmm,” Vriska nodded. “And it 8etter 8e a good one, too. You’ve 8een away at work all week; now it’s time you focused on <em>me!</em>”</p><p>     “<em>yes, ma’am,</em>” John chuckled. “what do you want to do?”</p><p>     Vriska pondered for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly and flashing her fangs at him.</p><p>     “Surprise me, Eg8ert. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”</p><p>     She reached down and tousled his hair again before swinging her legs over and getting up herself. She stretched and rolled her shoulders back as her white nightgown flowed loosely around her. She turned over her shoulder to give John another quick wink before slipping through the bedroom door and out into the hallway.</p><p>     John rose to his feet and shook his head with amusement as he stumbled over to the dresser and began to put together an outfit for the day. Vriska certainly seemed to be feeling better in the past few days, as she had been increasingly playful and provocative. John wasn’t about to start complaining, though; this was, after all, the side of Vriska he loved the most. He enjoyed experiencing her intensity, especially when it was manifesting in a more excited and passionate way, rather than an agitated and anxious way. It still bothered him somewhat that she’d felt so frustrated in their relationship, but after talking things over, John was confident that they were set to be stronger than ever. It was the start of a new chapter for the two of them, something really fresh and exciting, and they were both having trouble containing themselves. Vriska would practically pounce on him as soon as he’d get home from work, and John was more than happy to lie down and take it.</p><p>     And now it was Saturday, and John would have to take his unruly girlfriend out on a date. As he got dressed, he tried to wrack his brain for something fun to do together. It didn’t need to be too complex; Vriska just needed enough space to go wild without hurting anyone too badly. Honestly, the simpler, the better. The fewer distractions there were, the more the two would actually be able to interact with one another meaningfully.</p><p>     John lost his balance trying to put one of his socks on and fell over on the ground. He grunted as he hit the floor again, unable to slow or stop his descent. As he began to slowly collect himself and stand back up, he noticed something under the bed. He reached out and grabbed a small piece of paper, bringing it close to inspect it. He went over to the nightstand and put on his glasses so he could read what was printed on the flimsy ticket:</p><p>     <em>Buy One, Get One 50% Off!! Crockercorp’s Famous CRO-YO<sup>™</sup>!! Valid at ANY Crockercorp CRO-YO<sup>™</sup> Location!!</em></p><p>     <em>huh</em>, John thought, <em>that’s perfect!</em></p><p>     He slipped the frozen yogurt coupon into his pocket and finished getting dressed. He didn’t remember ever receiving such a coupon, but those sort of things came all the time in the mail, so he didn’t think too much of it.</p><p>     As he was just finishing, Vriska came back into the room. She was wrapped in a towel, and the strands of her messy, wet hair were all over the place. She whistled when she saw John rolling up the sleeves of his button-down.</p><p>     “Looking good, Eg8ert,” she giggled. “Going somewhere today?”</p><p>     “you 8etter 8elieve it,” he winked playfully.</p><p>     “Mmmmmmmm...”</p><p>     Vriska sidled up next to him, hanging her arms loosely around his neck.</p><p>     “Good answer,” she murmured.</p><p>     They kissed once more, the light from the rising sun warming their bodies as they held each other close by the bedroom window.</p>
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